‘The Journey’ by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice – – –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
‘Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations – – –
though their melancholy
was terrible. It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do – – – determined to save
the only life you could save.

When the time is ripe you will find the one.

My family had been struggling with two impending decisions for the last two and half years. The questions were

• What kind of Sofa to buy?
• What kind of Dining table to buy?

Its not that we didnt have ideas. We had too many of those. We were just not ripe with an acceptance of what would fit in the space we had. I felt overwhelmed at the thought of buying furniture that my parents expected would last Qayamat se Qayamat tak. I liked buying online. They didnt trust it as all.

They liked buying from furniture markets and I didnt like the options they looked at..(their options all seemed to me very out of place in an apartment setting) Both parties did not stop having a strong charged opinion on the subject for a long time.

When I calculate the endless hours I have spent on interior porn on Pinterest and Fabfurnish and Pepperfry I feel a very deep sense of fate. I passed through so many options. Endless rounds of Amar Colony, Kirti Nagar, Sikandarpur(each and every shop)- I even ventured to the back of beyond Jail Road and all shops in Faridabad(where I live) and Noida(Where I worked). So many that I liked, but didn't feel ready to go all the way with and it seemed that I would never ever find a closure. I knew I had a clear need and I liked the options available but I never felt convinced that the options available would fulfill the intended purpose.

In so many ways this long utilitarian search turned metaphysical, philosophical and also dysfunctional. Everyone blamed everyone else for delaying the decision but no one felt quite ready to take the decision themselves. And then finally I chose one day. I felt tired of the search. It seemed I had seen every corner of the universe and I had found The one piece which for this lifetime would be the best bet. I ordered.

A purple L shaped Sofa two weeks before Diwali and a Sheesham Dining Table and chairs from Sector 56 Banjaras in Gurgaon. Something in the moment gave me that final push/energy/conviction/courage/connection that I had needed all that time.

I am still in a bit of shock and disbelief that this task has been accomplished. I have never understood the divine mystery that brings in the confidence one day after eluding one for so many hardworking months days when one was equally trying to make the same decision through the same process.
So what changed I ask myself. Did I grow tired? Did I see every option in the market and grew bored of the process. Did I really find the one piece that was just made for me. Who knows? Maybe you k now reader. Do such strange mysterious delays wreck you also with doubt? Am I just a stupid procrastinator? Or a wise zen soul? I shall keep asking till the answer is ripe and falls in my lap like a leaf from the cosmic tree!